BOOK DESCRIPTION
BUMPING NOSES AND CHERRY PIE is a book of short
stories in a brand new genre created by the author, a former professional clown
—Circuspunk! This is the answer to clown phobia. It's all there in 25 short
stories that are a combination of satire, splatter and outright fun --
exploding clowns, Hondurican Monkey Flu, the elusive circus wank, a circus
poodle raped by one of the show's rescue mutts, the hottest girl ever to set foot
in a dunk tank, clowns, magicians, freaks, carnies, showgirls, and a wild and
zany cast of characters at circuses, freakshows, carnivals and midways. Meet an
MIT student who runs away to become a rodeo clown, an LGBT trained seal, a
billionaire who runs away to join the circus, a ringmaster trying to juggle
three women under one Big Top, a trapeze artist who has more problems with a
sex swing than Chloe and Lamar. It's all there, and much more. It is a wild
romp that will have you laughing until the very end. “This ain't your mama's roller coaster ride!
That is unless your mama does acid before hitting the amusement park!” says
Mimi Williams, author of “Beautiful Monster. “. Hate clowns or love them, you
are going to enjoy reading her zany and sometimes poignant look at a world we
both love,” adds Jim Rose of the Jim Rose Circus, Lalapalooza fame and author
of “Freaks Like Me.” A professional
clown for 9 years, Ms. La Marr tells it like it, like it should be and like
those of you who with clown phobia would like it to be. So get your ticket and
join us under the Big Top for BUMPING NOSES AND CHERRY PIE. The first
Circuspunk book ever! And remember - buy your copy today because the clowns
know where you sleep!
WHAT IS
“CIRCUSPUNK”?
This is the definition that I sent
to the Urban Dictionary. “Circuspunk is a new sub-genre of punk/bizarro literature scene
created by Charie D. La Marr aka Persiphone Hellecat aka Kotton Kandy - a
former professional clown. The genre includes stories that take place in
circuses, carnivals, midways, sideshows and also includes stories of birthday
party clowns, freaks, magicians and costumed characters. With some elements
taken from her experiences in the world of clowns (she won't tell which are
true and which aren’t) the genre is a blend of truth and fantasy that takes in
the usual bizarro mixture of fun, sex, satire and splatter. Also included in
the genre are dark stories, Lovecraftian stories, noir stories and other
variations and combinations of contemporary literary genre.”
EXCERPT
FROM
“The Tunnel of Love”
“God damn it, I
hate this fucking job,” said Mike Polkowski. He was wearing hip waders,
standing in the icy-cold and filthy water at the Tunnel of Love with a pool
cleaner, fishing out condoms, panties, bras and other assorted items.
He pulled out
another condom. “Oh hell, look. Another Coney Island blowfish. At least this
fucktard thought enough to tie a knot in the end. Most of them don’t seem to
mind polluting the gene pool. Do you realize this water contains literally
thousands of babies? Maybe millions?”
“Yeah right,” said
his partner Phil Bognaki. He had pulled the plugs out of the bottom of the
boats and was busy using a mop and disinfectant to swab out the spunk and other
substances. “Can’t these people go home to boink like everybody else? Or like,
get a room maybe? What is it about the Tunnel of Love that makes people want to
get naked and churn butter?”
“Beats the shit
out of me,” Mike said. “I mean, it’s a goddamn carnival ride! Go blow your load
on the roller coaster.”
“We should do
something about this crap,” Phil said. “You know, find some way to put a stop
to this. There has to be a way to fix it so makin’ bacon is unpleasant during
the Tunnel of Love ride and people stop doing it.”
“Yeah, and how
come all the rest of the carnies get nice jobs like handing out cute teddy
bears, yo-yos and key chains and I’m standing in a puddle of someone else’s
unborn children?”
“Because it’s a
good job for you two dumb Pollacks.” It was the boss standing behind them. “If
you two assholes want better jobs with the show, you gotta start at the bottom.
Pay your dues. And that means fishing for poon balloons at the Tunnel of Love.”
Mike fished out a
red satin thong. “Holy shit, I wish I had the girl who fit into this! If she
was the pony outside K Mart, I’d get a roll of quarters and ride her all day.”
The boss chuckled.
“Boy, you have about as much chance of getting a babe like that as a snowball
has in hell. Now get to work!” He snatched the thong from Mike and turned to
walk away.
“Like he’d have a
chance with her,” Phil said.
“I think he’s
going to put them on,” said Mike.
“Or maybe sniff
them.”
They both laughed.
The boss turned
around. “What did you say, brain dead Pollack?”
“I said yes, boss,
going to work, boss.”
“Well you better,
or you’re not even gonna have a job mopping up jizz around here. Now get busy.
The gates open soon.”
When the gates
opened that afternoon, Mike and Phil were in really bad moods. It was Phil’s
turn to take the tickets and Mike’s turn to help the people into the boats. He
was supposed to buckle them in, but what was the point?
The first couple
in line was already all over each other. Phil took their tickets and tore them
in half.
“Enjoy your ride
in the Tunnel of Love,” he said, handing the ticket stubs to the guy. “And try
to keep it in your pants today, okay?”
“Well, I never!”
the girl said indigently.
“Somehow, I doubt
that sweetheart.” Phil said.
She was about to
respond, but her boyfriend grabbed her hand and hurried her off to a boat. Phil
estimated he was already at half-mast. They would be humpin’ and bumpin’ as
soon as the boat disappeared into the tunnel.
The second couple
that walked up with tickets was two guys. They were dressed alike in white
pants, striped shirts and sailor hats, holding hands.
“We just got
married!” one of them said. They both held up their rings for Phil to see.
“Well
la-de-fucking-da! Get in the goddamn boat! Enjoy your honeymoon,” Phil said.
Next came an old
bald guy in a leisure suit with a beer belly, escorting two barely legals—one
on each arm. He handed Phil three tickets.
“Sorry pal. Two at
a time. You’ll have to leave one of your daughters here and ride again.”
“Very funny,” the
man said grabbing Phil by the shirt. “They ain’t my daughters and there ain’t
no sign that says, “Two at a time”. I got three tickets and I say we all ride
together.”
“Sure, why not?”
Phil said. “Who gets to get banged first?”
“You should have
such problems,” the guy said, chuckling as they walked away.
OMG......I don't know exactly where to start!! I had a lot of fun reading this book of short stories. This book had me smiling or laughing throughout the entire story and I was totally addicted. I just HAD to know if the next story was going to be better than the one before. Sure enough, I was not disappointing. I could not seem to put this book down, and when I wasn't reading, I was trying to find ways to get back to it or daydreaming of the stories I had already read. I also must say that I loved all the stories the same. I cannot sit here, while typing this review and think which one is my favorite.
At first when the author approached me, I have to admit that I was a bit leery, due to the fact it was out of my genre, but I went ahead and gave it a chance!! I am so glad I did, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. This book is an incredibly fun and memorable read!! I will admit that now I am a CIRCUSPUNK fan!! I highly recommend this book to adults of all genres with it's wittiness and humor that will sure make you a fan as well.
I received an e-ARC copy of this book, directly from the author, in return for an honest review.
Charie La Marr's first work in her self-created
genre Circuspunk, "Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie" is a loving but
irreverent look at the world of the Circus- from behind the scenes and in front
of the lights. Hate clowns or love them, you are going to enjoy reading her
zany and sometimes poignant look at a world we both love. Charie has the heart
and soul of a clown and the polish, pop and sparkle of true author. – JIM ROSE
of The Jim Rose Circus and best selling author of “Freaks Like Me”
"This ain't your mama's roller coaster
ride! That is unless your mama does acid before hitting the amusement park! Or,
rather, make that the circus. Hang on to your popcorn, make sure your red nose
is properly secured, and don't get too close to the elephant! But above all,
enjoy the hell out of this awesome book! Circuspunk has officially arrived and
you do not want to miss this show!" – Mimi A. Williams, author of “Beautiful
Monster”
I had the good fortune to read many of these
stories in this book as they poured from Charie's fingers. As they arrived, I
read them in big gulps, ever more impressed with the range she commands as a
writer. From lyrical delicacy to bold, raunchy, side-splitting humor, La Marr
is in full control of her powers. I can't remember reading a collection this
consistently entertaining. – Alex S.
Johnson, Author “Bad Sunset” and “Jason X – Death Moon”
“In Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie, Charie D. La
Marr compiles the best of the bizarre.
Clowns and contortionists gather under this
veritable big top tent to usher in Circuspunk,
the latest subgenre to invade the small press
scene, one town at a time.” – Kirk Jones, author of “Uncle Sam’s Carnival of
Copulating Inanimals”
I have known Charie for a long time and she is
every bit a clown and a storyteller. In fact, she’s one of the few people I
know who can keep up with me! Read Bumping Noses and Cherry Pie. You will
laugh. And take my word on it—you will be hearing more from her! – Mickey Rivers NY Yankee World Champion 1977
and 1978 and clubhouse clown.
I have never come across a story that Charie
couldn’t tell. She always manages to put her own slant on everything she write.
Whether she is writing about baseball or the circus, her stories will capture
your imagination and draw you into her world, holding you there until she is
ready to let you go. BUMPING NOSES AND CHERRY PIE is a funny and crazy look at
the world of the circus written by one who has been there. I expect big things
from her, and honestly I cannot wait to see what she has in store next! – Ray
Negron, author NYT bestseller “The Boy of Steel” and “Yankee Miracles”
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Chupa Cabra House - Bumping
Noses and Cherry Pie (collection)
Chupa Cabra House - “High
School House of Horrors” – Short Story – Kindle Single
Book Surge Publishing
- Ripple Effect (anthology) – Short Story “Entertaining an Angel Unawares”
JWK Fiction - Bones
(anthology) – Short Story “A Bone to Pick”
Vampirical Lyrical - In
Vein (anthology) – Short Story “Nothing Is Forever”
Chupa Cabra House - We
Walk Invisible – Short Story – “Fifty”
Dynatox Ministries - Witch!
(anthology) – Short Story – “The Three Hags Go To Burning Man”
Solarcide (online
magazine) – Short Story – “To a Coy Mistress”
The Shwibly (online
magazine) – Short Story - “The Dream”
Surreal Grotesque #13 (online
magazine) – Short Story – “Convergence”
(Upcoming)
JWK Fiction – Novella
- Squid Whores of the Fulton Fish Market
Fireside Press - Fireside
Popsicles (anthology) – Short Story “The Lady in the Sideshow”
JWK Fiction - Ugly
Babies 2 (anthology) – Short Story “Beauty is Only Skin Deep”
JWK Fiction - Indiana
Horror (anthology) – Short Story “A Touch of Indigo
Oneiros Press - Cut
Up! (anthology) – Short Story “The Lady and the Panther”
Chupa Cabra House - Axes
of Evil (anthology) – Short Story “The Return of the Plaster Casters”
Sybartic Press - Octavia’s
Brood (anthology) – Short Stories “Sweet Autumn” and “Growing Up in His
Shadows”
Outpourings-For the
People of the Philippines (anthology) – Short Story “A Moment in Time”
Waid Books - Bad Girl
Tales (anthology) – Short Story “The Dressing Room”
Surreal Grotesque #14
(online magazine) Short Story “At Home With the Clintons”
Firbolg Publishers –
The Rogues’ Gallery (anthology) - Short Story “Death in the Lady’s Dressing
Room”
Aadenaen Ink – All the
Night-Tide - Short Story (anthology) “The Brightest Eye”
Chupa Cabra House –
Small Town Futures (anthology)– Short Story “Earth Model 16”
Fireside Press – Dark
Wishes (anthology) – Short Story “The Great Magi”
Several projects as a
ghostwriter.
PODCAST FOR YOU TO LISTEN TO
(Surreal Grotesque
online magazine)
Hi my name is Charie D. La Marr, creator of the genre
Circuspunk. Some of you might know me from Facebook as Persiphone Hellecat and
some might even know me from the nine years I spent as a professional clown as
Kotton Kandy.
So why, do you ask, does a person who spent nine years
wearing the motley suddenly start writing stories where clowns blow up? First
of all, that is only a part of Circuspunk. Circuspunk can bring in any other
genres that you want—from romance to sci fi and everything inbetween. The
stories include circuses, carnivals and fairs, midways, freak shows and
sideshows, clown, magicians, freaks, acrobats, carnies … all of it!
And the reason is simple. Behind all that splatter and funk,
I love the circus! This is a very irreverent, but loving look at a subject near
and dear to my heart. But I just got tired of hearing people say, “I #$%$%$% hate
clowns!” I would show them my picture and they would agree that as a clown, I
was adorable, but they still hated clowns and wanted to see them wiped off the
face of the earth. So I decided, if people want to blow up clowns, let’s do it
MY way—with tongue firmly planted in cheek. And so Circuspunk was born. I hope
that it makes people laugh and desensitizes that clown phobia. I consider it an
antidote.
Now, that is not to say that I don’t understand clown phobia
in children. As a clown, I took many courses in the psychology of children and
how to handle them. I understand that we raise our kids telling them not to
talk to strangers. And yet the first time they see a clown, they push the kid
into the clown’s arms and get out the camera. I would freak too if my parents
made me hug the strangest person I ever saw! I learned to get down to their
level, stay back and talk softly and work to gain their trust until they came
to me. I would talk about what was on their t-shirts, what their favorite
subject in school was, anything to loosen them up and gain their confidence.
And the truth was, I ended up in literally thousands of baby books because I
never met a kid who ended up not liking me.
Sadly, I cannot say the same of their parents. I was a
performing clown. I did magic shows, I walked around with magic tricks in my
pockets and puppets. I was not a gumball machine. I didn’t give out cheap
trinkets or make animal balloons. I saw way too many parents allow young ones
to suck on those balloons and once saw a kid have to have a cheap ten cent ring
pulled out of her throat.
My message is simple. Love us. We walk around all day in
costumes that sometimes weigh close to ten pounds with wigs and full makeup in
the hot sun. We get shin splints from working on unforgiving concrete surfaces.
We work hard taking classes and keeping our skills and talents sharp and
growing. And we ask nothing more from you than a smile. Is that a lot to ask
for?
BIOGRAPHY
Distantly related to Mary Shelley on her
father’s side, CHARIE D. LA MARR has
created a genre called Circuspunk which is listed at Urban Dictionary. BUMPING
NOSES AND CHERRY PIE is her first work in her new genre. She also has upcoming
stories in Alex S. Johnson's heavy metal anthology Axes of Evil and Shwibly
Magazine, James Ward Kirk's Bones and Ugly Babies 2, In Vein for the benefit of
St. Jude’s Hospital, Chupa Cabra’s We Walk Invisible, Dynatox Ministries’
Witches!, Ripple Effect for Hurricane Katrina relief, Surreal
Grotesque,Oneiros’ Books CUT UP! and other anthologies. She was September's
featured writer at Solarcide. She is known for writing in many different genres
from crime to bizarro to erotica and even Seussian. She is currently editing a
Circuspunk anthology trilogy called The New Whakazoid Circus—the Greatest Show
on Paper. And she has just sold a bizarro book to James Ward Kirk Fiction
called Squid Whores of the Fulton Fish Market.
A colorful and often
controversal personality, she is kown as a redhead with a redheaded attitude. She
lives in NY with her mother and son (who works for her as her PA) and fur
children Bailey Corwin, Babe Ruth and Casey Stengel. She has a degree in Interior
Design, Summa Cum Laude, from New York Institute of Technology. She also spent
nine years wearing the motley as a professional clown.
STALK THE AUTHOR
More CONTACT Information
Timm Tayshun,
Publisher – Chupa Cabra House chupacabrahouse@gmail.com
Charie D. La Marr
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